Richard's Online Journal

Greetings and salutations. In case you were wondering, Richard Cobbett is a writer and journalist and producer of many other things involving words. He likes cats, hates spiders, and plays a lot of games. This is his website...
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Oct
01

What Is Google Wave?

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With invites flying around the web, everyone’s asking: what is Google Wave? The real question is: what isn’t it? Because Google Wave is more than just a website. It’s a platform. It’s a revolution. It’s a magic machine capable of bringing life to desolate planets through terraforming. It raises the dead. It divides by zero. You cannot be told what Google Wave is, you must experience it for yourself!

But that’s not all!

If you dip Google Wave in water, it produces copies of itself. Do not feed Google Wave after midnight! Google Wave is not a toy. Google Wave answers the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything. Google Wave even produces the question. With Google Wave, all your problems will be over, especially if those problems involve the absence of Google Wave in your life. Google Wave tastes of cherries, unless you don’t like cherries, in which case strawberries. Or cherry and strawberries, for the user who wants it all. Google Wave is the sensation multiple orgasms aspire to. Google Wave is not merely the Alpha and the Omega, but the Google Wave and the Google Wave, for all else has been rendered meaningless before its literally indescribable brilliance!

And it’s still in beta!

Google Wave is the only thing in the world capable of beating up both Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer without breaking a sweat. It is no relation to the Mexican Wave. If you wave at Google Wave, the universe itself crashes. Nodding is acceptable. Shaking your fist is right out. Stop being mean to Google Wave! It died for your sins!

With Google Wave, your work will be done for you, but your boss will never know. It will find you a date for the weekend and hide the body afterwards. Google Wave can time-travel. Google Wave will usher in first contact with the Vulcans. The history of all things was merely a prelude to Google Wave. A footnote at that.

…or maybe it’s just a mix of wiki, e-mail and Google Docs. But from all the fuss about it online at the moment, that can’t be it, right?

Not that I’d know. No bugger’s sent me an invite yet.