Hello, I'm Richard

And in case you were wondering, I'm a UK based freelance writer, journalist and professional producer of many wonderful words, including "dampen" and "cantaloupe". Why not drop me an e-mail, follow me on Twitter, and if you like what you're reading, hire me to write words and help you make cool things?

I write. I never claimed to be photogenic.

Enjoying the games and video nonsense? Enough to maybe buy me a pint of Coke at your local bar each month? Become my Patreon! Get snazzy purple comments and help keep my cats in food.

Latest Posts

> The Park
> Shooting Crap: Conspiracies
> Prison Architect: Liberal Of The Year Edition
> The Beginner’s Guide
> Dark Souls 2: Psychic Challenge Run
October 31, 2015

The Park

Time for a review of Funcom's The Secret World tie-in. A TripAdvisor review.

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October 20, 2015

Shooting Crap: Conspiracies

Behold! The hobo detective... of the FUTURE!

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October 7, 2015

Prison Architect: Liberal Of The Year Edition

Like Pentonville after economic cut-backs, there's more than a couple of screws loose here.

Prison Break? Yeah, the first series was good, but after that... oh. Oh, crap.

Prison Break? Yeah, the first series was good, but after that… oh. Oh, crap.

There’s a political side to Prison Architect, the greatest misery simulator since Cyan released Riven: The Sequel To Myst. It’s hard not to see it. The human suffering. The waste of potential. A stain upon humanity itself. And Prison Architect can be quite bleak too. But what if we avoided the heavily right-wing leanings of its characters – though not so much its actual designers, I should note – and tried a softer approach to rehabilitation?

Welcome to Liberal Acres. Liberace for short. (No relation)

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October 5, 2015

The Beginner’s Guide

And now, inspired by Davey Wreden's heartfelt look at art, a moment of culture.

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September 19, 2015

Dark Souls 2: Psychic Challenge Run

Blindfolds? Bah. Twitch chat? Amateur hour. Here's how the real experts test themselves.

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September 16, 2015

Batman: Arkham Knight Abridged




Ladies! Gentlemen! Fellow rogues and n’er-do-wells! I, SCARECROW, come to you this fine evening to propose a scheme in all our interests. Let us JOIN FORCES! To finally DESTROY THE BATMAN!
Okay! Only… you know how that never works?

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September 11, 2015

Game & Watch: Piper

Go, Green Ranger, Go! To the ooooooooooold weeeest....

Patreons can view all 4 parts already. Everyone else, coming soon!

Subscribe on YouTube to see it first. Second. Whatever!

Guest Host: Resulka

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September 3, 2015

Sunless Sea And Me: Now With Added DLC

The Pirate-Poet, the Merciless Modiste, and a return to one of the Neath's strangest islands...

It's all about the Art, as the serial killer said to their victim.

It’s all about the Art, as the serial killer said to their victim.

What’s that splashing sound? That’s a great big dollup of new content being added to Sunless Sea. Hurray! It’s written by me! Sorry! But hopefully you’ll enjoy it anyway! (I don’t think there are any puns!)

In order of my typing then. First up – the rodents of Pigmote Isle need your help again. This one builds on Amal’s awesome rodent war by letting you return and help the rats and cavies decide what to do next. You’re the Hairless Adviser, leading them through their tricky foundations and trying to get them ready for the rest of the zee to notice them… or alternatively to abuse their trust for your own purposes. Mwah, ha, and indeed, ha.

Then, it’s time to play with two more characters. Backers who supported the game at Corsair level and above can match their strength with the legendary Pirate-Poet, roaming the zee with her powerful Alcaeus ship. She was originally promised as a straight enemy, but I wanted to experiment with something a little different. I’ve always liked the idea of the worthy opponent in fiction, and the idea of friendship behind fighting. Sunless Sea doesn’t have much scope for that in the naval battles though because you just tend to be against ‘pirates’ or ‘Unfinished Men’ and so on. Having a specific character as an enemy allowed me to experiment with a relationship forged through battles… though as ever, it’s your choice what form it takes.

And finally – she’s here. After getting bored of her latest exile/cruise, the Merciless Modiste has turned her eyes to the zee in search of a new captain worthy of her scandalous fashions and murderous hobbies. She’s one of our ‘backer’ characters, along with the likes of the Sigil-Ridden Navigator and Maybe’s Daughter, though based on an existing character rather than a person. She was a fun one to write – a cheery sociopath completely commited to art, and the philosophy that while great art demands great suffering, its obligation does not necessarily have to fall upon the artiste. Anyone can recruit her, though to finish her story, you do need the Pirate-Poet DLC. Let’s just say, their pasts and your future are connected, for better or worse.

(The DLC is currently backer-only, but will be available to all at some point)

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August 19, 2015

Shooting Crap: Lula 3D

You know, I'm not convinced that Bouncing Boobs Technology is actually a thing.

AKA Sam And Max Hit The Skids. Perhaps the German version made a little more sense?

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August 11, 2015

An Idiot’s Look At Rising Thunder

Alternative name: One Must Fall (It'll Probably Be You)

Hmm. Do I spot just a little GLaDOS in Chel's design?

Hmm. Do I spot just a little GLaDOS in Chel’s design?

Briefly, I knew the fantasy of being good at fighting games. It came from owning Street Fighter II on the SNES and none of my friends owning Street Fighter II on the SNES. It worked out pretty well. While they stumbled around and mashed buttons, I expertly broke through their defences and controlled their zones and sometimes even managed to pull off a fireball, like, five times in a row! They were glorious days. Oh, the excitement when one of the console mags covermounted a little piece of plastic that you could put on the d-pad and actually have a chance of pulling off Zangief’s spinning piledriver. Those halcyon days before games like Mortal Kombat decided that instead of simple codes like quarter-circle-punch, fighting was best done by memorising codes like some palette-swapped Bletchley Park researcher. Why were some of them in bikinis? Dunno. History is weird.

But the golden age couldn’t last. Now, looking at something like Street Fighter IV, I’m immediately turned off by things like super this and hyper wotsits (named because they’re very, very cheesy indeed) and I just don’t think my brain has space for so many moves and plays right now. Enter Rising Thunder, which wants to make things easy, without making them… how to put this tactfully? Ah, yes. Shit. The alpha just opened up to everyone, so I thought I’d take a quick look and see if my hard-earned button mashing skills would finally be recognised.

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A Random Selection Of Things That May Interest And Entertain...

Second Chance: Doom 3

Ten years later, has time proven kind to this much-maligned sequel? Hint: No.


Welcome to the world of whorecraft…

Shooting Crap: Les Manley

He’s the nerds’ nerd, and he’s out to make his fortune. But his game? Officially the worst thing to happen to Elvis since dying on a toilet.