Richard's Online Journal
Lost: The Board Game
Available now at all good toy stores.
You’ve seen the show, now live the adventure! LOST: The Board Game (2-6 players) is packed with all the great twists and turns you expect from your favourite show, only with a bit more Snakes and Ladders. It’s even better than replaying Via Domus!
Rules of Play
To decide who goes first, all players must roll a single die, unless Player 1 decides that going first was part of his or her plan all along, in which case Player 2 starts.
Every player rolls two dice per turn. The first die informs the roll of the second, but they’ll ultimately end up being more or less the same because that’s how life works.
Player 5 must press the supplied click-button every 108 seconds, regardless of patience, RSI, or the need for a bathroom break. If the button is not pressed, everyone must immediately argue about it until they realise it’s not as important as it seemed.
Refer to all trips to grab more brewskies as “DHARMA beer drops”.
If Player 2 and Player 3 end up on the same ladder, Player 3 may kick Player 2 to their death. Player 2 then moves ahead five spaces and takes another turn.
Player 6 may never land on the same space as Player 1, unless it just happens.
Player 6 can move up to a hundred spaces per turn, but chooses not to.
Player 1 may insist that up to ten moves are taken back, moving the ladders by one space each. Other players must then replay their exact dice rolls as if that was where the ladders were all along. Anything that goes wrong remains their fault.
Players 1 and 6 may not knife each other to death, unless they can persuade Players 3, 4 and 5 to do it on their behalf. Then it is Acceptable. Also in the game.
In the event of a tie, Player 5 may step into the next room where a very similar game is set up and rearrange the pieces to their liking. It may or may not matter.
Players are not permitted to talk to each other at any point about any mysteries contained within the game, including whose turn it is, or if edits to the rulebook still count if they’re written in biro. (They do not, although additional rules in chalk on the wall are still counted as long as nobody questions them/rubs them out/changes their mind)
Do not eat pickled herring while playing LOST: The Board Game. Just don’t ask.
As compensation for daddy-issues, Player 3 is permitted one extra roll per turn, but is never allowed to move more than 2 spaces away from Player 4. Should this accidentally happen at any point, Player 3 must take an immediate shower/clothed swim to temporarily revitalise the other players’ interest in the game/life.
After sixty turns, the Magic Box is opened. Players must never speak of it again.
If Player 2 rolls three sixes in a row, all non-white players are automatically transferred to another, less important board so that the relevant ones can finish the game in peace.
If Players 3 and 4 leave the main board, they must return within 20 turns, or Player 6 gets to overturn the whole thing and claim victory, unless Player 1 rolls 8 on a single die and it’s full moon on either Tuesday or Saturday. If so, move forward three spaces.
Player 1 always wins. Sorry, it’s the Rules.
“And if you think that’s fun, wait until you see this Chess variant my brother and I were working on!
- Jacob, Lead Designer