Richard's Online Journal

Greetings and salutations. In case you were wondering, Richard Cobbett is a writer and journalist and producer of many other things involving words. He likes cats, hates spiders, and plays a lot of games. This is his website...

[17/03/07] Learn To Spell Richard’s Name

Honestly, it's easier than Featherstone-haugh. Pronounced 'Featherstone-haugh', not 'Fanshaw'. Whatever they think.

After seeing it as ‘Corbutt’ and ‘Corbett’ in the course of just one morning, it’s clear that something must be done. Therefore, please take advantage of this special Do Not Cut Out And Keep (Unless You Want To Lose Your Monitor) Guide. It’s educational!

My first name is the easiest. It’s not spelled M, R, or S, I, R. “Richard” is fine, or most variants thereof. “My Lord” works too. “Exalted One” will do in a pinch. If you’re going to accidentally send me a cheque, please make it out to my nickname, “CASH”. You can leave the amount blank; I trust you.

As for my surname, that’s a trickier matter. As a few hints, think “Not The One With His Hand Up Sooty”, and “Not As In ‘Cor, What A Butt!”, although both things are of course true. The easiest way to remember it is what I called ISC - a simple enough mnemonic, as in “It’s Spelled ‘Cobbett’”. There’s also a little ditty, an old family secret, which may help you navigate the most common pitfalls. I present it to you that you may find enlightenment:

You start with a C! Like the sea!
Then an O! Like an orange!
But instead of an R, there’s a B
Followed by an I and T
With a T on the end
Two of them, I mean
And it’s an E instead of an I
Shit, I missed a B
Let’s start all over again!

I hope that clarifies things. Should you have any difficulties, drop me a line. If you get a response from some confused herring salesman in Kennebunkport, well, try again.

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