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The Biggest Loser

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Some people say that by publicising things like this, you’re really playing into the creators’ hands. Possibly. However, sometimes, things need to be shared, if only as a warning.

Like everyone, I knew that Sony was putting together a ‘reality’ show about people competing to become a games tester — arguably the most soul-destroying job in the industry, save being whichever poor intern has to get the Lara Croft costume steam-cleaned after shows. Obviously, the idea was always going to be stupid, but I hate to pre-judge. After all, I hadn’t even seen a proper trailer…

Now I have. And in witnessing it, I have come to crave death.

I have no words. Wait, that’s a lie. They’re just words that normally have the vowels replaced by a string of punctuation from the top of the keyboard.

One little vial of ebola. That’s all I ask…

Enjoyed That? Try One Of These

There are 15 Comments on this story

Is there NOTHING that can’t be put into this ridiculous, “They will live together and face their own PERSONAL CHALLENGES together”-stupid-whooshy-transition-reverse-cymbal-panel-of-judges-bullshit format?

I thought American TV would implode under the weight of this five years ago, but how wrong I was.

When this show was first announced, I thought it might be amusing, but they just seem to have recreated the utterly contemptible watery effluent that is the US Apprentice, then bolted on some stuff about the hypothetical and peculiar breed of l33t gam3rz that Sony perpetually seems to believe is its target market.

Fail, is all I can say. But that’d be playing into their hands — I’m surprised that doesn’t appear over the evictee’s head as they turn sullenly away from David Jaffe at the end of each episode as the sorrowful whoosh of a reverse cymbal sweeps their meaningless emotion away and we hurtle into a preview of next week’s purgatory.

Posted by Paul on February 2, 2010

“One little vial of ebola. That’s all I ask…”

I suddenly have visions of you crushing it Davros-like.

Posted by Deviant Gent on February 2, 2010

I am amused by the head of Playstation Home of all things bitching people out for failure…

Posted by Richard on February 2, 2010

David Jaffe?

Well… I wish I could say I was surprised.

If it weren’t reality TV, just living in a house with a bunch of gamers and regularly going out to do fun stuff like paint ball would actually sound like a pretty attractive offer. But of course the whole premise is just… well.

Posted by Jonas on February 3, 2010

That’s the weird thing. You want to do a ‘proper’ reality show, get some guys in who want to make games, with the prize being a proper budget at the end of it. You want a lifestyle thing, get a house full of gamers and give them wacky challenges to see which of them is best. All fine.

This… this is just weird. And not in a good way. A “wow, this is really unpleasant watching and makes Sony look like a bunch of dicks” kind of way.

By a mile.

A mile.

Posted by Richard on February 3, 2010

All that crap for a job as games tester.
Not Singer, Comedian, Model or something like that…

Thats the most ridiculous about this.

Posted by Rain on February 3, 2010

I’m waiting for the “be a games journalist” reality show.

THAT would be quite the thing. Maybe you should do that write-up after the undead thingy above.

Posted by zipdrive on February 3, 2010

Couldn’t be any worse than (shudder) Book Millionaire. I quote:

In the first season, the Candidate Authors will be split into multiple teams. They will compete in real-world book promotion assignments. Prominent companies and currently published books will also be part of the tasks. Viewers will watch the drama unfold as the tests reveal Candidate Authors personalities, marketing skills, creativity, result-producing talents and abilities for working on a team with others they may or may not get along with.

Viewers will feel the excitement of intense tasks and growing stakes as the doors to publishing success open. The Candidates’ goal is to be The One who is headed to press. Each week one Candidate Author will hear the dreaded words, “The doors to publishing have closed.” With the show climaxing in the final episode when one Candidate Author will hear, “You’re Published!”

…specifically, published by a self-publishing company, with no million dollars. Interestingly, if you wanted to be part of it, you didn’t need to have written a book, be writing a book, or even have an idea for a book. You just had to want to live the dream! Probably best. All that boring typing really gets in the way.

(Needless to say, Victoria Strauss was on the case immediately)

Posted by Richard on February 3, 2010

A MILE

Posted by tenpn on February 3, 2010

Oddly enough, the only one of these appalling ideas that had even a smidgen of credibility turned out to be utterly dull to watch. There was a program that put a bunch of mid-to-low-level stand-ups in a “house” together. Their “tasks” were generally to prepare material on a weekly subject, then deliver to an audience.

Fine, except the stand-up show itself was edited to a discourteous minute or less per perfomer, and the rest of the program given over to watching them mooch around the house not being especially funny. Because, you know, their job is to be funny on stage, not at home.

Posted by Bobsy on February 3, 2010

I always find it fascinating to watch programs like Have I Got News For You, seeing which comedians and similar entertainment types can actually be funny off their own bat. (Not that I have a problem with the ones who can’t — delivering material well is no less of a skill)

Posted by Richard on February 4, 2010

eeeerk

Posted by gnome on February 4, 2010

Oh my. I had heard about this show, hadn’t seen the trailer yet.

I can only hope David Jaffe has lost all ability to sleep, his bed now a cold slab he lies down on to stare at the ceiling for 8 hours.

Posted by qrter on February 5, 2010

Am I the only one reminded of this:

http://​www​.youtube​.com/​w​a​t​c​h​?​v​=​j​u​c​6​9​G​6​F​-q0

Posted by Cradok on February 6, 2010

This is another ridge racer moment for Sony.

Posted by Nick on February 10, 2010

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