Richard's Online Journal

I spent way too long looking at this.

They are so winning, btw. Apple. With their mass hysteria beam. Because I’ve never owned an iProduct and I still call them mp3 players, I can ask the timid question: what is the iPad?

Posted by Jazmeister on January 27, 2010

I have no idea, I’m too busy installing Mass Effect 2 to look it up. From the aura of excitement though, it’s the monolith the monkeys were fighting over at the start of 2001. Only with multitouch, so better.

Posted by Richard on January 27, 2010

Considering the PR campaign for Mass Effect 2, it would not be unfair for an Apple fan to post a response to this entry of yours composed entirely of the words “Mass Effect 2″ instead of “iPad”.

Alternatively: Bayonetta.

Posted by Jonas on January 28, 2010

@Jaz — that’s because they are just MP3 players. I don’t get what all the fuss is about. iDontwant.

Posted by CraigL on January 28, 2010

My iPhone is fantastic. Admittedly, it helps that I rarely use the phone part, which is a bit crap.

Posted by Richard on January 28, 2010

The iPad is an iPod Touch catering to the much neglected paws of ogres and hill giants. Now they can look up interesting bread recipes while they’re grinding human bones.

Alternatively it’s a swatter for giant mutant bluebottles. Or a kayack paddle.

Posted by Dan on January 28, 2010

Journo on Sky News this morning said it was “a magical product”.

Must be like having Harry Potter in your lap, I thought.

Posted by Ian on January 28, 2010

iLaughed. Thanks Richard

- Richard

Posted by Richard Clayton on January 28, 2010

Multitasking anyone?

Posted by Rain on January 28, 2010

I’ll multitask later, when I’m done with this other thing.

Posted by Richard on January 28, 2010

MP3?

‘s good, especially for a console FPS. I mean, the control scheme is something else. Up there with mouse control.

Oh, right. Music playing thingy, not console game. S’alright, I guess.

Posted by Bret on January 28, 2010

I hate using my touchpad phone as a phone because of the big shameful greasy earprint you’re left with on the lovely touchscreen. It feels like I’ve wiped my bum on it. I can only imagine it’s worse with a gleaming, shiny iPhone.

This article is a joke, but I’ve honestly seen worse serious SEO attempts.

Posted by Richeh on January 29, 2010

My iPhone currently has a crack on the screen (one out of the way, so it doesn’t matter). I like to show it to hardcore Apple fans to see them recoil like Dracula faced with a shiny crucifix.

Posted by Richard on January 29, 2010

When they release an app that’s like those nail sculptures I can put my face in and leave an imprint, I’ll get one.

That’s when they release that app, and not if. Because it’s inevitable. LET IT BE KNOWN IT WAS MY IDEA FIRST!

Posted by The_B on January 31, 2010

OK, this is going to be inflammatory (however, you Apple apologists know in your heart this is true), but Apple have yet again released shiny junkto the long-suffering fanboys.

Apple again show us that it’s their way or no way, even when it makes no sense. For example; there’s no Flash support in an internet browsing device, no USB support for cameras etc. on a picture viewer; a micro SIM instead of a proper SIM card to block migration of phones; no forward-facing camera so therefore no video chat; a 4x3 ratio screen in a video viewer; no ability to install the common useful apps like Photoshop and office software on a productivity device; the patented Apple insta-scratch screen on a device you put in your pocket…

In three revisions time, this will be a gorgeous, feature-rich must-have for the tech lifestylers. For now, it’s overpriced, under-specced and lacks a clear purpose. If you want portable features, buy a netbook. If you want a phone, or an ebook reader, buy those. More power is provided by laptops or desktops. If anyone buys this just so they can browse the internet without moving their fat ass off the sofa, they need a slap.

Flame me if you want, but it’ll take a really good orator to convince me to spend a minimum of £500 on an oversized iPhone…

Posted by theaikidoka on February 1, 2010

Oh yeah, also there are almost no books, newspapers or other periodicals in the iTunes store for the iPad — come on guys, you’ve had about five years prep time. You couldn’t get your store up and running for launch day?

Posted by theaikidoka on February 2, 2010

In fairness, launch day isn’t until March.

I like the unit. I’m not sure if I £500 like the unit, but I could certainly make use of one if the books are there.

Posted by Richard on February 2, 2010

But they aren’t. And they should be.

Posted by theaikidoka on February 2, 2010