Richard's Online Journal
$%&^ing Toilet Seats Again
From the BBC’s Blindly Obvious Department:
Some computer keyboards harbour more harmful bacteria than a toilet seat, research has suggested.
Oh, good grief, not this old yawner again. Yes. Yes, keyboards are dirtier than toilet seats, the reason being that toilet seats are not dirty. By reading this site, your buttocks are automatically not only declared officially clean, but also surprisingly fragrant. But not somewhere that germs particularly congregate. The floor? Ick central. Under the bowl? Nice knowing you. The seat? You could eat your dinner off it, and I’m reliably informed that there are clubs in Soho where you can do considerably more.
Any company that releases any bit of marketing comparing the cleanliness of toilets and any second entity, but especially keyboards, ever frakking again will find this out soon. I’ve already petitioned the government to enforce a new ‘three strikes and you’re out’ policy, where the strikes are conducted with a length of birch, and the ‘out’ to be outed from consisting of the entire of civilised society.
You have been warned, lazy press release writers. The revolution begins shortly.