Richard's Online Journal
The Tech Support Quiz
Everyone who calls a tech support line is, by necessity, treated like an idiot. That’s fair. There’s a huge gulf from people like us, who know what we’re talking about, and the drooling masses who simply think they do. One too many retorts along the lines of “Yes, I have plugged it– Oh…” will have any minimum wage-slave reaching for their script, and following every line to the letter.
But what if there was an alternative?
What if when you phoned up, the synthetic voice gave you just one more option? That’s the dream here ? of getting through to the computer switchboard, and hearing the choices: “Press (1) for support. Press (2) for sales. Press (3) for… The Test of Doom!”
The Test of Doom… other names would also be acceptable, but that one has a suitable Monty Python vibe to it… would be a simple demonstration of your technical prowess, with the reward being instant promotion to Person Who Might Actually Know What They’re Talking About. It would be administered by the computer system, presenting three random choice questions in increasing order of difficulty. Obviously, the exact level of difficulty would depend on the service. For Sky, it could start at ground level. Should the satellite point (1) up, or (2) down? Your broadband supplier might ask what ISP stands for ? (1) Internet Service Provider, (2) Intermittent Signal Problems, or (3) Truth, Justice and the American Way. And so on.
Too easy? Yes, but that would simply be the filter question, with a minor reward. You wouldn’t get special treatment, such as skipping to the front of the queue, but you would earn the right to be in one where the words “Your call is important to us” aren’t constantly yelled into your ear-hole.
The next two questions would be more in-depth. Level 2 is for demonstrating your ability to solve simple problems. How do you secure a wireless network? How do you switch broadband providers?