Hello, I'm Richard

And in case you were wondering, I'm a UK based freelance writer, journalist and professional producer of many wonderful words, including "tatterdemalion" and "fluidic". Why not drop me an e-mail, follow me on Twitter, and if you like what you're reading, hire me to write words and help you make cool things?

I write. I never claimed to be photogenic.

Enjoying the games and video nonsense? Enough to maybe buy me a pint of Coke at your local bar each month? Become my Patreon! Get snazzy purple comments and help keep my cats in food.

Latest Posts

> The Witcher III: Wild Hunt Abridged
> Tangential Recreation 1×03
> The Sunset Diaries
> Quick TRiP: Technobabylon
> Second Chance: Doom 3
May 27, 2015

The Witcher III: Wild Hunt Abridged

The final adventure begins now... with the final villain hopefully not in a hurry to take centre stage.

He's back to separate the Wiedźmin from the Wiedźbois.

He’s back to separate the Wiedźmin from the Wiedźbois.

I am Geralt of Rivia. Monster slayer. Witcher. Not entirely sure what that word means, because the translation is weird. But never mind. The Wild Hunt is on the loose, and coveting my daughter Ciri. I must rescue her from this vile castle… before it’s too late.

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May 26, 2015

Tangential Recreation 1×03

"Everybody Hates Quan Chi"

What’s this? It’s a new collaboration with Matt of GeekPlanetOnline – one of two new series we’re trying, with the other due to make an appearance next month. Tangential Recreation is part podcast, part moving wallpaper, part absolute failure, as we play (usually) co-op games while chatting about the week in gaming and other geeky subjects. This week we completely fail at Mortal Kombat 2011, while chatting The Witcher 3, AAA games in general, and the easy distractions of bone-crushing super-moves. Surprisingly, it’s hard to talk and fight at the same time.

Addendum: I’d apologise to Quan Chi fans, but I doubt he has any. Y’know. Because he is Terrible.

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May 23, 2015

The Sunset Diaries

Changing the world, one act of housekeeping at a time...

Going to take more than a broom to clean THIS city up.

Going to take more than a broom to clean THIS city up.

Sunset is the latest release from art-game developers Tale of Tales, in which a black housekeeper forges a connection with her off-camera employer during a time of war in a fictional Latin American country. It’s a great concept, with an amazing soundtrack, with a story that can go in a few different directions both on-screen and in your head. Do you develop a romantic interest, or simply push him to do what’s right for a country you only ever glimpse from the safety of his penthouse? That’s up to you. But, in a parallel dimension not so far away…

May 21, 1972. Pentecost.

Five years at Harrison College, living on tips and whatever my Aunt Anita could save up. Five years to get a piece of paper that says I’m an engineer. All so I can clean this man’s house. They said I could have built rocketships, but no, I told them, I was going to be the best housekeeper ever. All I need is some plutonium and I can finally commence production of my combination vaccuum/death ray. I’m thinking of calling it the Doomba.

Anyhoo. I’m to be here at this man Gabriel Ortega’s house an hour before sunset, which I’m told is always at the same time no matter when in the year it is. So that’s lucky. We’ll probably never even meet, but somehow I feel like I already have a slightly creepy infatuation growing for this man who works for a corrupt dictatorship that my brother is sworn to destroy at the cost of his very life. Well, no matter. There are boxes to be unpacked!

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May 21, 2015

Quick TRiP: Technobabylon

Welcome to a slightly warmer cyberpunk future than most

Important Disclosure: Members of Wadjet Eye Games are Patreon supporters. This is not sponsored or paid content, just a look at a game in my wheelhouse that I enjoyed. Still, factor in as you see fit.

Trying something a little bit different with this one – a quick video just chatting a bit about a game. A bit more of a ‘review’ than intended, though what really interests me is the humanity it has at its core, versus the traditionally cold and cynical nature of cyberpunk stuff. Don’t mistake the comments about, say, Latha’s apartment for saying everything’s wonderful – when you’re reduced to wearing paper clothes and don’t even get a pair of shoes, you’re not exactly living in the best future. Still, it beats being a drug addict in the streets of most neon futures.

Still, don’t worry. No big spoilers in the video. Though if you’re wondering about an opinion and are fully spoiler-averse, suffice it to say (I say this a lot, I just realised) it’s a fantastic adventure. Of the Wadjet Eye games, I’d put it on about the same tier as Resonance, with a tighter story and interface, and a good step higher than Gemini Rue, which I liked, but didn’t click with me as strongly as it did with most. So, I call that a success!

That glowing though. So… much… glow…

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May 19, 2015

Second Chance: Doom 3

So many years on, has time proven kind to this much-maligned sequel?

I don't know what you think you are, but the correct answer is 'embarassing'.

I don’t know what you think you are, but the correct answer is ’embarassing’.

Ever played Doom? Little FPS game. Quite popular for a while in the 90s. Sold a fair few copies. Inspired a clone or two. Led to the invention of something called ‘Deathmatch’. Don’t worry if you’ve never heard of it. Not every game can go into legend as quickly as Syndicate, Ultima and Bert Higgins: The Man From HELL.

I kid of course. Doom is not only one of the best games of all time, but still a shockingly enjoyable one – its speed, its feel, its map design and its iconic enemies all contributing to a pretty much perfect experience back in 1993. Doom 3 on the other hand… was more controversial, probably because it was shit. At least, that’s my memory of it. But in this month’s episode of Second Chance, it’s time to go back and give it another shot at not just being Half-Life’s dismal cousin. And possibly even find some reason to be interested in this pitiful teaser. Zzz…

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May 14, 2015

Shooting Crap: Les Manley

Officially the worst thing to happen to Elvis since dying on a toilet

He’s the nerds’ nerd, and he’s out to make his fortune by finding THE KING. But it’s the awful puzzles and desperate attempts to be Leisure Suit Larry that caused his adventure to be equal parts shunned and ignored.

(As an aside, more video is coming soon. I’m partnering up with Matt of GeekPlanetOnline for a couple of new regulars that’ll be starting – touch wood – the end of this month and early in June. Looking forward to both. One is a mix of co-op gaming and podcasting, the other more focused on sharing the world of weird and wonderful games rather than simply presenting them. More on them soonish! For now though, crap adventures!)

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May 13, 2015

The Witcher 3: Early PC Review

Embargos, schembargos...

"Oi, it's rude to point."

“Oi, it’s rude to point.”

You might have noticed that reviews are now out for The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (air-guitar), and by all accounts, it’s going quite well. Importantly though, those are all for the PS4 version and as we all know, different versions always have… well, differences. Why has nobody released an in-depth review of the far more important PC edition? It can only be laziness or corruption! Or a lack of review code. Well, fie upon that and let logic be reality’s slattern! Once again, I bring you the exclusive scoop based on my professional access to this year’s hottest RPG….

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April 27, 2015

Adventure Game Reviews 101

Okay guys, this keeps bloody happening. Once and for all, a reminder of how puzzle criticism works.



A good puzzle is not necessarily a hard one. Being hard does not make one good. It’s not a difficult concept, but every… single… time… an adventure game gets reviewed, people seem to get confused on this incredibly basic concept. A puzzle can be hard because it’s challenging. It can also be hard because it’s poorly directed and based on moon logic. The easiest puzzle can be fun if it’s heartfelt or funny. It can also be a tiresome waste of your goddamn time. Good puzzle: just about anything in Zork: Grand Inquisitor. Bad puzzle: Just about everything in King’s Quest V. Got it? Because it really, really gets tiring trying to explain this year after year after year.

P.S. If you don’t like the choice of Myst as ‘bad hard’, feel free to replace it with The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. I’d open it up to a free choice, but nope. I’m irritated, so those are your only options. Harrumph.

P.P.S. If you said “I only see one axe!”, you win 5 Snark Points. Congratulations.

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A Random Selection Of Things That May Interest And Entertain...

This (Civil) War Of Mine

Hey kids, it’s the most depressing dolls house since the Barbie’s Abduction Playset!

Fallen Swindon

2014. Three days ago, Swindon was stolen by dyslexic bats who are in spectacular trouble with the Masters. An affectionate, interactive parody of Fallen London.

[Video] The Blackwell Legacy

High stakes; Medium well done. A spirited series. What? After five games, all the jokes are burned. Time to take a look back at one of my favourite indie adventure series.